Stop judging other moms!

Yes.  It’s that simple.  Stop judging other moms.

Tonight, I was in the local wal-mart checking out.  The cashier was ringing up my items.  Making small talk … “how are you, did you find everything ok”   ya know, the norm.   I explained that I found more than I expected to (thank you clearance racks).  About mid conversation, there was a young child, probably 3 or 4 in the self check out with what looked to be his grandma.  He was crying and carrying on and obviously something was wrong.  The cashier kept looking over at the boy and then I hear her say “IF THAT WAS MY KID I would spank him.  Yep, I’d definitely spank him.”   Rewind a few seconds before that, when he first started really crying. I looked up and then looked away.   For a split second, I started to judge.  And then I STOPPED.  I stopped because I have been that mom before. I’ve been the “IF THAT WAS MY KID” mom.  Most importantly, I’ve been the mom that has been in the store when my kids weren’t feeling good, when they were SUPER tired and irrational, and when they simply threw a fit because they were acting like little brats and not getting their way.  After the cashier made her comment, I just politely said, ” we probably shouldn’t judge her.”  I stopped there.  I wanted to expand but I didn’t.  I just quietly said, “I feel for her.”   The cashier didn’t really know what to think.

What it comes down to is, we, as mothers, have to STOP judging other moms.  Seriously.  The very last damn thing a mother needs is to be judged.  By anyone.  We are our own worst critics as it is.  Always wondering:  did I do that right, should I have done this, did my kid get too much screen time, did they eat any fruits and veggies today,  should I be at work today when my child is sick, should I even be working or staying home to raise my children, the list goes on and on and on.   It’s hard enough when there isn’t an hour that goes by when you’re away from your children that you think or worry about them, or you have the family members that constantly add in their 2 cents every chance they get.   We need to be supportive.  We need to help each other out.  If you see a mom struggling, give her a word of encouragement.   Even if it’s a simple compliment. A, “Hey mom you’re doing great!” SOMETHING.  We need to encourage one another instead of tear each other apart.

So, tonight, if you’re reading this,  I’m here to tell you:  You’re doing a great job.

~JAVITC

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Treading water.

To maintain.

 Keep doing what you’re doing to keep your head above water, to survive, to keep going. I can apply this to many aspects of my life.   When does it stop?  When will I stop treading and actually swim.  Obviously this is a metaphor, but seriously.   I’m 31 years old, I rent a house, I don’t have ANY money in savings, I am in a job that I am not going anywhere in — which has been made pretty clear over the last few weeks.  Makes me wonder why the hell I even try. Why do I learn as much as I can, why do I help whenever someone asks? Why do I continue to try to grow and be used without reaping any rewards.   Call me selfish I guess.  Should I be doing all of this just ‘because’ I’m supposed to?

Soul searching.

Something I think everyone does at one point or another.  Am I on the right track for the life I want?  Where do I see myself in 1o years, 20 years, 30 years?  I want to be healthy and happy and successful.   And right here, right now, I don’t really feel any of those.  I know I have a good life, and I have a good job, and I have healthy children (for which I am extremely grateful) don’t get me wrong.

Sometimes, I dream.   As of late, my dream has been to move into a small cabin in the woods.  Out of town, but not too far, and not too wood-y,  but somewhere were I’d have to have a landline phone because my cell wouldn’t work, and we might not be able to have internet.  A 180 degree flip from where I am now. I could be a stay at home mom.  I could volunteer at my children’s classrooms,  bake delicious meals all day, cook, clean, organize, scrap book.  Would that make me happy?   But then the big ole 4 letter F word sets in…. FEAR.   How would I get health insurance for all of us?   Would I, would WE, really be happy?