Yes. It’s that simple. Stop judging other moms.
Tonight, I was in the local wal-mart checking out. The cashier was ringing up my items. Making small talk … “how are you, did you find everything ok” ya know, the norm. I explained that I found more than I expected to (thank you clearance racks). About mid conversation, there was a young child, probably 3 or 4 in the self check out with what looked to be his grandma. He was crying and carrying on and obviously something was wrong. The cashier kept looking over at the boy and then I hear her say “IF THAT WAS MY KID I would spank him. Yep, I’d definitely spank him.” Rewind a few seconds before that, when he first started really crying. I looked up and then looked away. For a split second, I started to judge. And then I STOPPED. I stopped because I have been that mom before. I’ve been the “IF THAT WAS MY KID” mom. Most importantly, I’ve been the mom that has been in the store when my kids weren’t feeling good, when they were SUPER tired and irrational, and when they simply threw a fit because they were acting like little brats and not getting their way. After the cashier made her comment, I just politely said, ” we probably shouldn’t judge her.” I stopped there. I wanted to expand but I didn’t. I just quietly said, “I feel for her.” The cashier didn’t really know what to think.
What it comes down to is, we, as mothers, have to STOP judging other moms. Seriously. The very last damn thing a mother needs is to be judged. By anyone. We are our own worst critics as it is. Always wondering: did I do that right, should I have done this, did my kid get too much screen time, did they eat any fruits and veggies today, should I be at work today when my child is sick, should I even be working or staying home to raise my children, the list goes on and on and on. It’s hard enough when there isn’t an hour that goes by when you’re away from your children that you think or worry about them, or you have the family members that constantly add in their 2 cents every chance they get. We need to be supportive. We need to help each other out. If you see a mom struggling, give her a word of encouragement. Even if it’s a simple compliment. A, “Hey mom you’re doing great!” SOMETHING. We need to encourage one another instead of tear each other apart.
So, tonight, if you’re reading this, I’m here to tell you: You’re doing a great job.